Thug Life

Today is one of those days when you just sit back and marvel in God’s gloriousness.  It is amazing the way He works.  Two weeks ago, I made the HUGE decision to quit my job.  I don’t have any back ups.  I didn’t have a plan.  All I knew is that it was time for me to move on because of some issues taking place there.  I don’t do things like that.  I never go a day without a plan.  The last time I tried to be spontaneous, it failed miserably.  No plan, I put my two weeks in.  Continued working, but was so consumed with my last days that I had not applied for jobs.  Friday, I get a call from a lady and she said she saw my resume online.  (Guess it was still up there from last May).  Anywho, I called her back and this week I have been interviewing with her company.  It is a wonderful opportunity for me.  The company seems perfect and the work seems just challenging enough to keep me entertained without being terribly high stress.  I just cannot believe it.  In the interview when they asked how I heard about them I said “It’s really strange.  I resigned from my last job and didn’t have a plan, and then I got a call from you guys asking if I was still looking.  I am.”  I should hear something at the end of this week or beginning of next week.

Melinda J. Moser pointed something out to me.  She said that she has noticed odd numbered summers have been really good for her.  I have to agree.  Because in the last few years, the even numbered summers haven’t been so hot…so I am looking forward to this summer.  Why?  Well Ric is sending me on a mission trip to the Ukraine.  Can’t wait!!  At the job I interviewed for, I told them this and they said it wouldn’t be a problem.   It’s ah-mazing.

I am getting my hair cut on Friday.  What style?  I’m still undecided.  However, I have noticed a trend in my hair styles.  See if you can see what Nicole and I noticed:

The Gilbert Grape:

The Secret Window

The Willy Wonka

The Once Upon a Time in Mexico

The (haircut) From Hell

The Blow

(Please note that when flipped out, my hair looked exactly like that.)

The Pirate

Finally, I call it the Depp

(Again, when worn curly, twins)

Too real Johnny.  Too real.

Kristin Moment 1,263: The Glute Massage

So, today, I got a massage!  Seriously.  At Massage Envy, if it is your first time there, you can get a 1 hour for $39.  Now, I know what you are all thinking “Kristin, you’re dating a chiropractor, why would you need a massage?”  Well, my lower back hurts because we haven’t had a date in 3 weeks and I drove about 900 miles the last two days.  Anywho, so I go and I’m telling my masseuse (it’s cool to say that.  I feel like a movie star)  that my lower back is KILLING me.  Well, sweet Becky the Masseuse said that since I was driving it could be my hummmmmmmm (I blacked out from boredom about right here) mmmmmmm, so you’ll need to have your glutes worked on.  ‘Scuse me?  By glutes you mean my lower back right?  Here is how the rest of the conversation went:

Becky: So, you’ll have to take everything off.
Kristin: So, you mean, like take everything off.
Becky: Yes.  Everything.
Kristin: Like everything?
Becky: Yes.  Ev-er-y-thing.  (She said that last part really slow.)

She leaves.  I begin to hyperventilate.  I have had massages before, but this was about too much for me.  No lie, the first time I ever had a massage, I didn’t even take my jeans off.  Like…I just woah.  Who else do you know has a mini-anxiety attack when she is in the most relaxing environment in the world…that’s right.  Only Kristin K. Thomas.

Kristin Moment 1,264: The Tale of the Slippery Sandal

During my wonderful massage, I can hear my phone buzzing…about 50 times.  My dear, sweet sister, Nicole S. Thomas, and I had made plans for me to bring her a Diet DP at work today.  We never really see each other during the week because of our schedules and I was gone this weekend, so I wanted to spend some QT with Coey.  Anywho, trying to get where she is located was like trying to find the black box of Oceanic Flight 815.  She was being shady.  Which, if you know Nicole, is nothing out of the ordinary, but she keeps insisting on me bringing her a coke, but is not revealing her destination.  So, I just figure it out, using the GPS in my head and off I trek.  As I’m walking up to the Preston Smith Medical Library in the 80 mph wind, I notice that some of the grass is a little wet.  I keep on treking.  I find Nicole, she shows me her work space…and get this, her section.  My sister has a section in the library where Med Students are encouraged to find her to ask her questions.  My friend Aaron was actually in her section and she says “Yeah, keep it tidy”.  Only Nicole.  Then I meet her very cute co-worker.  Oh and part of the tour, Nicole took me to a window where she stared out and said “this is the window I come and stare out for hours.”   So funny.  She pressed her face against the glass.  Clawed at the glass, you know.  Stuff like that.  So, as I’m leaving, knowing good and well that there are tons of windows and med students all around, I start walking (again through the grass) to my car.  Well, my feet are already sliding around my gladiator/Jesus sandals because of the aforementioned massage.  Then I step in water.  Now, I’m not walking through the grass by myself.  Oh no.  I am walking in a group of students.  I reach a patch of grass that is sopping wet.  I begin kicking water out of my sandals.   Up onto the med student in front of me.  I begin to panic.  However, before I can even apologize, my feet are slipping every which way.  It’s like someone has poured gallons of baby oil on my feet.  So, my toes are slipping this way and that, but my shoes are bound to my leg via an ankle strap.  I look like Neal Armstrong trying to walk on the moon.  Not to mention the wonderful West Texas wind that picked up at that very moment because, well, let’s face it, that’s the way my life goes.  I looked like Ariel when she first switched from fins to legs, only I had no Prince Eric to catch me.  By the time I got to my car, I had blond hair plastered to my face, obstructing my vision.  My curled up (little like Aunt Doris’) pinky toe is hanging off my right shoe, dragging it’s curled up little self across the parking lot.  My left shoe has turned up to where the soul is on the top portion of my foot.  And that my friends, is how the Preston Smith Medical Library will always remember yours truly.

Friday night is the big lingerie party at my house for the one Courtney Marie Marlar.  I’m super excited.  It does, however, mean that I have to clean our house and hide all of the horribly embarrassing things Rhonda thinks are “cute.”

For instance, let me discuss “cherubs.”  Now, yes they are angels (allegedly), but I have to say, they are the creepiest little beeps I have ever seen.  They have beady little eyes and constantly follow you with their hollow little faces.  And everyday it seems that there is some sort of new scary cherub in our house.  There is a gold one, a white one a marble one…seriously?  LaRhond loves Greek statues and such (one time she had a David’s bust and Nicole knocked it over and the head broke off.  So, Nicole hid the David’s head in one of Rhonda’s flower beds.  It was hilarious).  Anywhooter, so, new cherubs every week.  But, where does one hide these tiny little creepers?  And should one feel guilty that they are creeped out by tiny angel statues?  You tell me…

I would also like to add that I am definitely hiding Rhonda’s party CDs.  We are currently listening to some sort of Kidz Bop…and I don’t like it one bit.  Young children should not be singing songs like “The Twist” and “Brick House”…it’s just weird.

OH MY GOODNESS!!!  I totally have forgotten to mention the best weekend of my life.  How could I forget about that?!  I have truly done a disservice to my beloved blog readers.  Next blog…guaranteed…is all about my underage lovers…the Jonas Brothers.

Ok, so I have seriously mistreated my dear sweet blog and my dear sweet blogger friends.  First things first, shout out Emily K. Bryant!  Why?  Because I just want to.

Ok, so I am so sorry I have neglected my poor blog for so long.  I realized how sad it has made me, today.  So, my new goal is to write at least once a week.  So….if I do not, sweet friends, you can leave me angry comments or cut me in person…whatev.

So, I currently look like a lobster!  It must mean summer is on it’s way!!  I just got home from hiking at Palo Duro Canyon with Katie and Daniel Hardy.  SO fun.  Part of it was straight up hill and I sounded like a panting dog.  Surprisingly, I did not pass out.  Thank goodness because there would be no way to air lift me out.

Here’s a fun diddy:

So, my aunt goes to a chiropractor, who is somewhat my age and single.  So, she gets this grand plan that we should date.  Away I drive to his office.  Scared to death the first time.  Complain of back ache, which I have, but I always have (and it is getting better with the treatments.  Two birds, one stone). 

I don’t know if you have ever been to a chiro, but they bend you and pop you in ways that are somewhat unnatural.  So, naturally it’s a little scary.  Not to mention there is pressure added and you’re pushed upon.  I’m pretty sure that we made it to second base on our first date.  No lie.  Accidentally. 

Thank goodness someone told me what to expect because I was thinking it was going to be like a massage.  Good thing I didn’t wear my tear-away Velcro suit.  Anywho, I have been going for several weeks.  Building a relationship.  Flirting.  Good conversation. The next time my aunt is about to go see Dr. Chiro, I say ”hey, when you see Dr. Chiro tomorrow, make sure you talk me up.  Tell him I’m cute and funny.”  Easy enough to follow, huh?

WRONG.  Aunt CB, we shall call her, asks him when I can stop coming every week because I still live at home and I need to stop wasting money and gas.

WHAT?!   Who in their right mind would think that is a way to talk someone up.  No one…well one person, Aunt.  How is it making me look cute to mention I live at home?  Why would you try to stop me from going on my dates once a week?  Isn’t that terrible.  It is.  She should have just told him I am addicted to crack and can’t come anymore.  Guess I will cross that one off my possible dating list.  Thanks.

Hello my lovlies.  Once again I must apologize to you all for not updating my blog in about 3.8 years.  I have been freakishly busy with work.  (I just typed school and work-wrong) I also have caught some sort of deadly virus and I’m not sure what it is.  I’ve been miserable for about 3 weeks.  Then today, I woke up with a sore throat.  Seriously?!  What is that?  So, I am planning on going to the doctor.  I don’t really know when…but I am going.  Have to break that news to LaRho.

My Cousin, Tara, or you can call her TaTa, celebrated her 20th birthday this weekend!  Hooray!  Shout out TaTa Norman.  The sister, Nicole, will celebrate her 21st birthday on Friday.  This is terrifying for any and everyone who knows her.  Seriously, please keep us all in your prayers .  The gang is all ready to follow her around Friday night.  Drive her and hopefully prevent her from killing herself or others.  We tried to hold an intervention, because well, TaTa and I are avid Intervention watchers and we know how to do it.  So, we showed up with our letters ready for a killer intervensh(as we call them) but no one else would have anything to do with it.  Sad really.

Oh my word.  Ric and Rhonda just walked in the door and Ric started dancing.  Sick nasty.  I’m actively looking for a house, apartment, cardboard box…dumpster anything to keep incidents like this from happening…ever again.  They were at the Mardi Gras party at the Civic Center.  Ric was trying to show us how the belly dancers moved.  He also found the baby in the King’s Cake.   Now his shirt is off.  Dear God, why?

So, I have an interesting tale to share, but I will not tonight.  I have to go throw up because of Ric’s dancing.  Tune in next time for a special treat.

Happy Fat Tuesday!  Oh and for Lent, I’m giving up peanut butter.

Ew.  The words alone used to make me want to pop balloons, or knock a scoop of ice cream off of an innocent person’s cone.  However, yesterday a wonderful co-worker and I were discussing Valentine’s Day (which she lovingly refers to as “Single’s Awareness Day” or S.A.D.) and I started thinking, not in 22 years have I had an actual S.A.D. Valentine’s Day.  In fact, S.A.D. is usually one of the best nights of the year for me…and not so sadly, I have been single every year.  For instance, last year, we had a fancy dinner party.  The year before Nicole, Laura and I had pizza, chocolate and wine and watched our favorite chick flicks.  It may have been pizza, chocolate and margaritas…it’s a little fuzzy… Oh and the year before LaRhonda got Nicole and me a special S.A.D. package at Clay Cafe where we spent the night painting pottery and eating chocolate.  We were surrounded by lovey- dovey couples and seated at the spinster table with other single ladies, but it was a wonderful night. 

This year, Dakotee, Cousin Tara, Kelsey and I are going to see My Bloody Valentine 3D.  How fun is that?!  I have not ever been to a 3D movie and with those 3 (DD-ha ha oh I kill myself) we are going to have way more fun than any of us would, if we were on a Valentine’s date.  We won’t have to try and impress anyone.  We won’t be checking our pits for nervous sweat stains and I can guarantee that by the end of the night, someone will have been felt up.  I’m just kidding.  That was supposed to be funny, but I think I crossed a line.

Point of this blog:  I will no longer let people refer to Valentine’s Day as Single’s Awareness Day because it is not a sad day for singles.  I will refer to it as Catorce de Febrero (because everything sounds cooler in Spanish) and like Cinco de Mayo, it is a day for celebration.  Celebration of love…and gettin’ crunk with your friends.  (Not actually crunk, but Rhonda explained to me what that means and I thought it was the funniest thing ever and I like to use it daily). 

So, this weekend, I saw New in Town and He’s Just Not That Into You.  New in Town is so much better!  No lie.  I didn’t think it was going to be very good, but it is hilarious.  I highly recommend it.  He’s Just Not That Into You is good, but I left feeling like I was going to burst into tears and it almost compromised my diet because I wanted to eat my weight in chocolate.  I didn’t.  Anywho, point: go see those movies.  Oh and there are some doozies coming out.  I love movies!

Sad note:  I haven’t been on my sweet blog site in so long, it took me 3 tries to remember my password.  I will have to update more often so I don’t forget again.  It’s just hard now that I have a grown up job…or a grown up job where I don’t have a computer in front of me so I’m forced to actually work.  Whatev.

This post goes out to my dear friend, Randy Williams.

I’m not an angry person.  I’m really not, but it seems like every time I get in my car to go somewhere, a new person possesses my body.  I don’t understand.  I can be perfectly happy driving along, then one tan Crown Vic pulls out in front of me and BAM!  I’m out of control.  There is yelling, gnashing of teeth, sometimes I even claw.  I calm down from that outbust.  Begin singing aloud (yes, my radio is broken, so I have my iPod in my ears) and then BANG! someone stops in the middle of 50th to make a right hand turn.  Seriously?!  People say Lubbock drivers are horrible and I don’t know if the people who cause me to cuss are from Lubbock, but there are some ginormous dings with driver’s licenses.   Gosh.  Just thinking about it gets me all riled up.  Whhhhoooo.  Deep breaths in.  I’m ok.

So, does anyone watch Intervention.  Because if you don’t, you should.  I’m totally addicted. 

Valentine’s Day is coming up.  Insert spit sound and little kick.  Dakota, Kelsey, Tara and I are going to see My Bloody Valentine, 3D.  Should be fun.

Well, 2008 has come and gone and to that, I have to say good riddance. Not really, but I am so excited to see what 2009 has in store for me. I do have to say that my New Year’s Eve was crunk. The fam and I watched two of the seven deadly sins on the History channel. Lust and Glutony. Fun, huh?  The highlight was seeing Kate on ABC’s Rockin’ New Years Eve.  How fun!  So, sweet Aunt Brenda made a top 10 list of 2008, and so I decided to do the same.  So, here is Kristin K. Thomas’ Top 10 List of 2008 events:

10.  Michael Phelps dominates the Summer Olympics.  Not only is it great for America, it is great to watch Mr. Sexy Can I all wet and hot (not temp. wise) win stuff. 

9.  Mama Britney’s comeback.  That’s right, b’s, Britney is back.

8.  Twilight.  Not so much the books, or the movie, but Robert Pattinson, i.e. Edward Cullen.  I love him. 

7.  Getting a silver tooth, then getting it taken away.

6.  Graduating.  Then going to Kyle’s graduation.  That was super fun.

5.  Getting a new job.  Although, I do love my old job, I LOVE my new job.   I do work a lot more, but I absolutely love it!  Hooray!

4.  The fantastic weddings of two of my very best friends: Meagan Dawson Smith and Katie Brister Hardy.

3.  When Texas Tech beat UT.  That could be the best event of all, but out of “respeck” for others, I have to put it 3rd.

2.  Candice having Breanna.  That’s pretty cool.  You should have seen her on Christmas.  The entire family just sat around and watched her.  She is just so adorable and wonderful. 

………and drum roll please………………..

1.  Dakota moved back!  The entire road trip to get back to Lubbock from Kentucky was Ah-mazing.  So fun and even better, it is fabulous to have her back!

Bring it on 2009.  I’m ready! 

*I would also like to note that I have had several wonderful events happen to me in 2008, but these are the ones that made the list.  Runners-up include: The Pancake Princess Party, watching Mama Mia and wrapping  Christmas presents, going to College Station 3 times and going to Mexico with Ric.

Hey!  Ok, so after a small hiatus, Kristin K. Thomas is back.  I have gotten a new job, so I do not have as much free time to update my blogs.  I am terribly sorry.  Brief overview of what has been going on:

* I have a new job, that I love!  It is absolutely fantastic.
*  Katie got married this weekend.  It was so beautiful…and exciting.  Oh and Brother Keith told me to catch the bouquet…and I did!  Woot!
*  Christmas is tomorrow!

That’s all.  WAIT, no it took me forever to figure out this new WordPress “dashboard”.  Whatev, WordPress.

Ok, so the wonderful, beautiful, amazing Carol tagged me.  Someday we are going to hang out. ; ) wink.  So, I am tagging 3 people.  They are:  Dakota, Tara and Meagan.   Here goes:

3s About Me that people may not know!

Three jobs I have had in my life:

Three movies I would watch over and over:

1. Just Friends
2. 4 Christmases
3. The Grinch (Cartoon, not Jim Carey) 

(I do believe I am stuck on a “Christmas” theme.  I couldn’t think of any non-Christmas movies!)

Three places I have lived:

1. Lubbock
2. Lubbock  (We all know I have lived in one place my entire life.  Still there, and will probably die here….thanks for asking.  *insert sobs of self loathing)
3. Spain for 6 weeks.  Does that count? 

Three shows that I watch:

1. The Office
2. Arrested Development
3. CSI

Places I have Been to:

1. Mexico
2. Spain
3. Portugal 

Three people who e-mail (or text) me regularly:

1. Courtney
2. Candi
3. Dakota

Three places I’d rather be right now:

1. On a beach
2. in London, why?  Because I’ve never been there and really want to go.
3. Somewhere warm.

Three friends I think will respond:

Hopefully:  

1. Dakota 
2. Tara Pants
3. Meagan 

Three things I am looking forward to this year:

1. Courtney’s wedding
2. The Jonas Brothers concert March 8, 2009 in Houston 
3. My new job!

It’s Christmas time!!  I love this season.  Everything that comes with it.  The lights, the smells, Baby Jesus, the trees, stockings, cards.  All of it.  I love Christmas cards.  Love them.  I love watching people grow up via their Christmas card picture.  I love them.  I like picking them out, I love writing “love Ric, Rhonda, Kristin & Nicole”  Love it.  But have you ever noticed how there is always that one person who sends out a Christmas letter that makes you hate them?   We have this family friend, who no matter what, sends out a Christmas letter with everything great that has happened to them this year, along with pictures of course, and describe their perfect lives in great detail.  Nothing bad ever happens to them.  They go on great trips-many great trips, not just one big one, their children are prodigies in every activity they attempt.  Their wife has time to volunteer for 20 different organizations and they are awarded Family of the Year, every year.  It’s almost ridiculous.  So, in response to that, I have written up a little diddy of my very own.  I’m trying to get Rhonda to send it out in our Christmas cards this year:

Dear Friends,

Happy holidays to you all!  What an incredible year we have had!  The year started off with the girls traveling to Jacksonville, Florida to watch the Texas Tech Red Raiders play in the Gator Bowl.  While there, they hung out with crack dealers and hobos who sold drugs to prostitutes.  Ric and I had a great time in Lubbock with them gone.  We got a first-hand taste of what it will be like when those two move out. 

Nicole is still at Tech and dating Brennan.  After a brief spell out of school in the spring semester, she is right back in there, new major of course.  She is still dating Brennan, but we doubt she will ever move out or get married.  Nicole’s rebellious ways became so unbearable that we went on the Maury Povitch show to get her to straighten her act up.  She was sent to boot camp for a day and then spent the night at a Women’s prison.  Her boyish good looks only kept her safe for so long.  After a while, she was traded for a deck of cards and some cigarettes by her cell mate “Harry”.  Luckily the show’s producers interceded and she made it out alive.  The show airs on December 14th and we can’t wait to watch it as a family.  I smell viewing party!

Kristin graduated in May.  She is no longer single!!  After a brief stint in rehab, she has become very involved with a group located near San Angelo.  She is betrothed to a man who lives on a commune, so we look forward to her moving up there to live and work with her sister wives.  Lucky for us our family is very fertile, which is good because she is expected to have many, many children.  Look forward to some baby pictures next year.

Ric is still teaching at Monterey.  It makes living with him almost unbearable, between the yelling and throwing things. 

I’m working in LISD.  I love my job.  I did lose my leg in a greenhouse accident, but it’s fine now. 

Our dog died in October.

Well, we really have been blessed and look forward to what next year will bring.

God speed,

Ric, Rhonda, Kristin & Nicole

*Please note all of that is a lie.  Or is it?